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Sexual wellness

HOW MINDFULNESS PRACTICES Can Help You Have Better Sex

How Mindfulness Practices Can Help You Have Better Sex
@blueeeemint
We all dream of a healthy, vibrant sex life — that magical moment when we’ve found that we have shed all the social conditioning, tragically passed down to us for generations, about sex and the roles we should play and are comfortable with our personal sexual expression. For many years, we have remained silent about sex, and for many women, that’s been part of a culture that trains us to behave politely, smile, and be agreeable. Arguably, this cultural and social conditioning tells us what our duties are, but denies us the space and resources to learn about our individual needs and wants. Discouraged to explore our sexuality and learn the language of our bodies, there’s no wonder there is trauma, fear, shame and embarrassment around sex and the questions we may have about it. And it can be incredibly hard to talk about with our partners.

With this in mind, we want to bring mindfulness into the conversations about sex. Mindfulness, at its core, is a practice of how we choose to engage and show up in our lives — because if we show up as kick ass, confident babes who are deserving of all good things, that’s what we’ll get. And mindfulness is a practice that we can bring to our sex lives — and create a fulfilling, pleasurable, and self-assured way to approach our erotic selves. After all, mindfulness helps us realize that sex doesn’t always even have to be about the final outcome — not at all, b! Instead, it’s about the union and the experience. We like to think of meditation as a tool to gain self-awareness, and a way to access our body’s innate wisdom by tuning into how we feel. Meditation practices can help us focus on our unique experiences and feelings, and honor our personal preferences. The same is true when applied to our approach to sex — so let’s dig into some mindfulness practices and how explore how they can lead to better sex!

Through a blend of different mindful modalities — some that are focused on inner wisdom and intuition, with others that are centered around self-acceptance and the courage to be vulnerable — better sex is one of those practices that you can cultivate over time. Don’t worry if you feel like you aren’t getting it right away — it’s a practice in and out of the bedroom. Small habits can transform your sex life — after all, growth is a process, baby! So be gentle with yourself. If all goes wrong, you always have a vibrator. Jk! It won’t.

Self-Awareness

Our bodies are full of wisdom (thank you, Mama Earth), and all it takes to tap into this natural intuition is learning to listen to your body. I know, I know — this sounds very hippie. But hear me out: Body scan meditations are great for tapping into your body sensations, and this can help you when you are first learning about what makes you feel pleasure. Once you find what brings you that physical reaction, you can talk about it with your partner and see how sexy it can be when you are completely comfortable in your skin. Listening to your thoughts without judgement is another self-awareness practice, and can help you explore the stories you tell yourself. You can discover a lot of about yourself this way, and find out what limiting beliefs may be affecting your sex life.

Open Communication

Mindfulness during sex is all about communication and mutual respect — because together is better. Talking to your partner about your feelings and fantasies helps remove the shame around these subjects. Plus, engaging in healthy sex requires us to communicate our intentions and desires with our partners. It can also lead to better sex, because you’re actively creating space to openly talk about your experience and what you want. It’s crucial to claim those needs! And the real fun — well, that starts when we feel complete and unconditional acceptance so we can begin to play and experiment in the bedroom.

Body Positivity

Many people struggle to accept their body for how it looks. It’s easy to demand so much from your own body and compare yourself to others. Feeling truly confident in your body is possible, but it may just take some time. Practicing positive body affirmations and a mirror exercise — where you stand naked in front of the mirror to fully absorb your body and say loving statements out loud about different parts of yourself (even the ones you don’t feel your best about!) — can be extremely powerful practices.

Gratitude

A fun exercise for you and your partner can be learning each other’s love languages. This can give you essential insights as to how your partner feels seen and valued by you — and vice versa. It’s a great way to explore new ways to show that you care about each other — especially when coupled with expressions of gratitude. Recognizing your significant other’s strengths in the bedroom will not only build their confidence, but will have a positive karmic effect on your sex life. Make it a habit to tell your partner how you appreciate them, and the positivity that they bring into your life — especially during stressful times in the relationship.

Self-Care

Partaking in a daily or weekly self-care routine will benefit you, both emotionally and mentally. Meditation has proven to decrease stress, anxiety, depression, and increase energy, focus, positive mood, and your overall state of wellbeing. Exercising will build body resilience, increase stamina, and sexual satisfaction. Incorporating slow movement — such as yin yoga — will help soothe your body and relax you for better sex. Journaling is a great tool to slow down, reflect on what’s been going on with you, and find clarity — or even find your creativity. Cooking and dancing are great activities that you can do for yourself or with your partner to help bring you two closer; shared experiences, where you both get to learn together and focus on each other, are amazing for relationship- and trust-building.
All in all, it is important to remember that you are not alone. Sex mindfulness starts with small steps, and finding the courage to speak up about your experiences will invite your partner to do the same. Ultimately, the key is to explore yourself and learn about your sexuality without fear, shame, and embarrassment — but it all starts with self-awareness and acceptance. Better sex is achievable — and fully in reach with the daily practice of mindfulness.