When we think of self-pleasure, the first thing that comes to mind is clitoral stimulation. Whether it’s analog (aka using our hands) or help from a trusty little buzzy toy, we know the ins and outs — no pun intended — of our most obvious pleasure center better than anyone. We can usually get the job done in under 5 minutes. Heck, with a fantastic, rumbly vibrator? Maybe under 3.
But clitoral stimulation with a vibrator can be a cheap thrill, and not a deeply transformative orgasm. We get it — not all orgasms will be deeply transformative. Some are bigger than others with no explanation, and sometimes, we are simply pinched for time. A cheap thrill sounds great when we have a schedule to attend to, rather than manual or help from a crystal wand.
We recently sat down for a chat with Vanessa Cuccia, founder of Chakrubs, a high-vibrational (sans the electricity) crystal healing and pleasure company specializing in ritualistic sexual wellness while using powerful stones for tools like wands and yoni eggs. Trust us: We don’t want to hate on vibrators — and in fact, we’re big fans. But we’re open to all sorts of pleasure-makers.
Cuccia has some thoughts on this as well: “Nothing against using vibrating toys, but using Chakrubs encourages the exploration of what feels good without the use of something battery-operated. Knowing what turns you on without relying on a vibrator can be empowering to many people. But instead of pitting these two types of toys against each other, I suggest trying them together! If someone is very used to using a vibrating toy, using one externally for clitoral stimulation while inserting a Chakrub is a great way to introduce yourself to the magical benefits of crystal pleasure wands.”
And we tend to agree. When it comes to pleasure, more is more.
Besides, how about those moments that we do have the time, whether it’s with ourselves or with a partner? What about those of us who never venture deeper for self-pleasure, or don’t think they are capable of having deep, cervical orgasmic experiences, so they play it safe and close to the rim?
Self-exploration is a beautiful thing, but it can be daunting. Women are programmed by collective thinking that tells us we are vessels for pleasure, while men get to actually experience deep pleasure. We think something is wrong with us if we aren’t feeling good, turned on, and orgamsic, and we default to guilt and shame rather than exploring the idea that our partners, society, stress, and pressure is what is failing us sexually.
Entre vous, crystal yoni eggs and crystal wands. For some, this may sound triggering. A cold, hard stone? How is that going to get me off? The first few times exploring with these types of tools may not exactly be sensual. The hardness of the stone may come into contact with our own hardness … We’ll explain.
We tend to hold a lot of stress in our pelvic floor. Tight pelvic floors can result in tense muscles and tendons that make sex painful, constrictive, and simply not as pleasurable. We imagine our vagina as a soft, voluptuous, fluid, beckoning entity, but so often we find that we’ve shut it off from the world in an attempt to hide our vulnerability and hold tight to our yang, or masculine energy, in order to harness power.
Cuccia explains, “Pleasure itself can be extremely healing, and Chakrubs on a basic level are instruments of pleasure. But sometimes, sexual pleasure brings up feelings of unworthiness, shame, or disconnection. Chakrubs, because they are natural crystal, offer an element of emotional support that traditional sex toys do not.”
What about that institutionalized shame? It’s not our fault. We were raised this way, and taught this way by (*whispers disdainfully*) the patriarchy. But f*ck that. We can use the highly vibrational healing powers of different crystals, paired with the hard intensity of the stone, to combat our own hardness — to soften us from the inside out, releasing tension, expectations, inhibitions, and more. But it takes practice, so be patient with yourself.
And don’t be in a hurry. Cuccia shares, “When it comes to your body’s response to physical stimuli, anything different than what you’re used to for achieving a goal like orgasm may require some practice. Through intentional practice, however, Chakrubs will help the user not only discover their boundless potential for pleasure, but deepen their awareness of self, encouraging self-love in all forms.”
We can do this with many types of yoni crystal wands in all stones, all sizes, and all colors. There are many different crystals, but we love rose quartz or amethyst for safe and loving healing, acceptance, heart opening, and compassion when it comes to crystal wands and eggs. There are different sizes, and anywhere from small (aka about 4 inches) to large (about 7 inches, plus added girth) can make an excellent tool for self-exploration and softening.
The vibrations of these crystal wands is important: Amethyst is aligned with our crown chakra, and helps with our connection to consciousness. Cuccia tells us it is believed to help alleviate stress and anxiety: “Our ‘most precious areas’ can hold a lot of that stress and anxiety, and the amethyst Chakrub helps ‘release’ that tension. The amethyst Chakrub is one I use in my sex magick rituals when I need to be reminded of my divinity, my ‘queenliness,’ and to have those soul-affirming, enlightening orgasms.” This is vital in knowing and trusting the self.
Rose quartz is rooted in our heart chakra, allowing us to feel more love for ourselves and those around us. These healing crystal wands can help us recover from trauma, and embrace our divine feminine.
Don’t expect an orgasm the first time you pop a crystal in your yoni. It’s important to set the tone, and to not hold yourself to high expectations. After all, we are disarming our vagina, which has built up a lifetime of armor and tightness in defense. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it’s not tumbling down in one moment, either.
Breath is an incredibly important part. When we breathe deep, we teach our bodies to deeply relax, which can move tension in a way that is shockingly effective. Breathe into a rhythm, while stretching, moving, and penetrating. It may not feel good this first time, but this is a practice, like yoga. We are teaching our pelvic floors and our cervixes to relax and open to pleasure, love, and healing.
Cuccia shares a way to intentionally approach this ritual: “The art of using stones for pleasure can be as advanced or as fundamental as the practitioner desires. Mastering a [yoni wand or egg] is essentially mastering yourself. [These tools] encourage the user to explore the relationship they have with themself — with masturbation, with love, the emotional body as well as the physical, and even spiritual. Practice with crystal pleasure wands may involve ‘charging’ the [crystal] with an intention, ‘tuning in’ to its energy through meditation, facilitating orgasmic energy movement, and allowing that to create a healing environment within the body. Chakrubs is a philosophy as much as it is a product or a practice, and I go deeper into this in my book, Crystal Healing & Sacred Pleasure.”